A man's way of handling a stubborn child

Tap tap tap tap....

What?

Humm....

Okay lady it is time to come into the house.
No you have been outside almost all day.
You will not die I can guarantee it.
Your legs look fine to me.
Do I have to come out and get you.
No that was not a threat.
I am not angry.
Wanting you to come inside after a day of romping in the out of doors does not make me a racist.
I'm not a racist.
I agree, but I am not a racist!
Who taught you the word racist anyway?
Well that is the last time I am letting you talk to uncle Charles now come inside.
Yes mommy wants you to come in too.
Sure.
I don't have my shoes on just come inside.
I am counting to three. One... Two...
No I am counting to get you to come in.
One... Two... Three... I am coming to get you.
I don't need my shoes. Ouch..
come back in please.
Do I have to get my shoes?
I am going to sacrifice your bunny to my idol gods.
Sure I have plenty.
I will flush Tina down the toilet.
That was not poddy talk.
Now that is poddy talk you are in big trouble!

Honey can you go get her she refuses to come inside.
I tried that, she keeps saying no.
but I don't want to put my shoes on.
Well just come to the door and call her.
Because you are more persuasive than me.
I'll finish up dinner.
I can hold the baby and make dinner at the same time.
......
Men are just not as good at multi tasking.
Your beautiful. I love to listen to your voice can you use it to call her in it would make me very happy.

Your mommy says you don't get dinner if you don't come in right now.

I am not making you out to be the bad guy I just thought it would work better coming from you.
Fine!

COME IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW CHILD!
RESPECT  YOUR FATHER!
...Please...

--Moral of the story: Say please first--
--oh, and be a man or your wife will give you the look.... no not that look, the other look that you don't want--