The truth about chicken nuggets

Deep fried reptilian creatures

Chicken nuggets are one of the best selling and most loved foods in America. Ask any child and they will tell you that everywhere has chicken nuggets. Go back in your mind and think of a restaurant that doesn't serve chicken nuggets.... okay now remember not to take your kids there because they won't find anything worth eating.

You may be wondering at this point why I am posting about chicken nuggets well I will leave you in suspense no longer. I discovered that chicken nuggets aren't actually made from chicken! The common held belief is that they are not made from chickens per say but from delicious chicken byproducts. I am here to bring that horrible rumor to an end. There is nothing chicken about chicken nuggets at all. 

When I was out early in the morning feeding the chickens at my work I witnessed hundreds of little creatures scurrying in the cracks and crevices of the coop when I opened the door. (no mom they were not rodents) I threw the feed scoop and managed to pin one of the creatures. Upon examination I found that the creature had scales, was roughly the size and shape of a standard chicken nuggeand had a long tongue that hung out over a mouth no more than a slit in its featureless face. 

I put it in a cardboard box to take home and show my kids but found it dead shortly after I had promised them a surprise when I came home (the surprise turned into some candy I found under the seat in my truck). Interestingly upon its demise it shed all of its appendages and looked exactly like a chicken nugget except that it had the green scales. It was in that moment that I made the connection. This creature not only looked like a chicken nugget it actually was a chicken nugget.

I turned to Gandolf R. (regrettably no relation to THE Gandolf) for some cooking advice. He fired up his deep fryer and in about two minutes and fifty six seconds we had what can unquestionably be called a chicken nugget.

Creature after frying for 3 minutes

I must admit this could all be just a coincidence; maybe I just caught some really sick mouse... or a cut in half lizard.... But I don't think so. I will be running some more experiments and hopefully trapping of few of these guys to show more conclusively that chicken nuggets aren't chickens at all but small reptilian creatures.

This discovery could have profound and far reaching consequences. If I end up missing you will know that the chicken companies got to me before I could reveal the truth. Until I get to the bottom of this please continue eating chicken nuggets at the same rate and frequency as before just keep in the back of your mind that you could be eating something entirely different from chicken.